The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I need to calm my uterus...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
