it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
