how can u be prego again
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
