Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
