roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
