im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
