Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
