hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
