he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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