she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
