So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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