im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
