its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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