We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
