Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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