oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
