i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
