I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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