My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
