So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
