Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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