when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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