i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
