is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
