so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
