i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
