Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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