you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
