like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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