Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
