Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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