Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
