That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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