Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
