I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
