this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
