well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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