I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
