dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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