u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
