If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
