you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
