It's like God shit irony all over that family
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
