bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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