Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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