Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
