is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
