That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
