when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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