I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
